There was a time when Chinese and Korean songs were
all I’d sing. Now I sing Thai, possessed by a multilingual ghost who doesn't
believe in rules. š»
Took my meds early; my left hand’s back to normal, but
the right’s still hurting, no clue why. But even this pain is gentle in
comparison to the brokenness you feel while loving someone who looks at you,
but doesn’t really see you, or love the way your heart stays open, even when it
hurts. The way you love her... you have already chosen her a thousand times. How
does it feel to watch someone you love love someone else, under a soft sunset, all
the while pretending your heart isn’t folding like paper?
What art thou, brave soul,
who bleeds
without a sword,
and loves
without return?
May you always recall,
you are the moon,
pure and quiet,
yet tides rise in your presence.
She’s not unkind for missing it,
only unready for the kind of light you carry.
I Write Like I’m Sending a Letter to the
Future
I’ve been pouring my heart out into this journal like
sacred wine, and realized something wild: Thailand feels like where I’m meant
to share my love for the English language. Maybe because it’s the only dream
that doesn’t feel like a lie when I wake up. And if English isn’t quite your
thing yet, no pressure. I’ll just learn yours, until I can teach you mine.
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