Diary Entry

 

Sunday, March 22

I don’t know what to write today, but I’m gonna try to get some words down anyway…

My best friend saved my life with a bowl of tofu for lunch, and I also had her homemade egg sandwich. Then my little sister even shared some of her peanut butter, too.

Then to keep myself from getting too soft, I opened my laptop for a death game. The logic is a bit broken though, like, people are desperately trying to stay alive, but somehow the only thing actually dying is my attention span. It sucks when your brain isn't even trying and it still sniffed out the killer. I should’ve just grabbed a crayon and played connect-the-dots. 

 

Good thing I squeezed in 널 기다리며and Nine Puzzles. ♡

“There’s only one way for the evil to win. When innocent people do nothing.”
- Missing You

“We all become different at some point, just like how you’re different now compared to your 19-year-old self. We all go through certain life events and meet certain people along the way. What’s important… are the choices we make when we become different.”

Episode 3 of Nine Puzzles

Monday, March 23

I kinda wonder if I treat everyday stuff like mini experiments. ’Cause I find myself feeling like a hamster on a wheel and often like some kind of odd science project. And maybe that’s why I go through everyday moments three times. Once experientially, once analytically, and once in a diffuse state, like I’m just standing on a high-rise observation deck.

The little streets and houses below look like they belong in a board game or a playset, and I kinda see everyone down there as part of a live-action board game.

Had the best time singing As If It’s Your Last ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Neo mwonde jakku saenggakna

Jajonsim sanghae aega ta

Eolguri tteugeobgo

gaseumeun gyesok ttwieo

Nae momi mamdaero andwae eojireowo

Neon han jumui morae gata

Jabhil deut jabhiji anha

Neon swibji anheun geol

geuraeseo deo kkeullyeo

Nae mami mamdaero andwae eoieopseo

 

Pre-Chorus:

Jigeum neoreul wonhaneun

Nae sumgyeori neukkyeojini

Neol barabogo isseodo

Missing you

Seotun nal won’t you set me free

Baby nal teojil geoscheoreom anajwo

Geuman saenggakhae mwoga geuri eoryeowo

Geojismalcheoreom

kiseuhaejwo naega neoege

Majimak sarangin geoscheoreom

 

Majimakcheoreom mamamajimakcheoreom

Majimak bamin geotcheoreom love

Majimakcheoleom mamamajimakcheoreom

Naeil ttawin eopsneun geotcheoreom

 

Uh Imma fall in love baby

You gon finna catch me

Uh give you all of this baby

Call me pretty and nasty

Cause we gonna get it

My love you can bet it on

Black we gon double

The stack on them whoa!

I be the Bonnie and

You be my Clyde

We ride or die

Xs and Os

 

Siganeun heulleoganeunde

Maeumman geuphaejiji

Nae sesangeun neo hanaman

Missing you

Seotun nal won’t you set me free

 

Baby nal teojil geotcheoreom anajwo

Geuman saenggakhae mwoga geuri eoryeowo

Geojismalcheoerom

kiseuhaejwo naega neoege

Majimak sarangin geotcheoreom

 

Majimakcheoreom mamamajimakcheoreom

Majimak bamin geotcheoreom love

Majimakcheoreom mamamajimakcheoreom

Naeil ttawin eopsneun geotcheoreom

 

One two three

Saeroun sijakiya

Jeoldae dwidorabojin anheul geonikka

Nal neoege deonjimyeon

Neoneun nal kkok jabajwo

Sesangeun uril kkeokkji moshal tenikka

BLACKPINK in your area

📝

 

tunes and popcorn rn

My little sister’s not around right now, so I’m just munching on popcorn while a random Japanese playlist is on. Nakikinig lang kahit hindi naman maintindihan habang subo nang subo ng popcorn. I’m sort of thinking about those drafts I still gotta sort, or maybe not. I just write random stuff for fun but also kinda wanna read them years later and just laugh at myself. 

the magic trick and the failed plan 

I.
These two friends are both lying to the group but like, each one’s got their own style. One’s beautiful and confident, and somehow everyone forgets how to think. The other one is clever and sneaky, hinting at stuff so someone else looks bad. And does anyone even realize they’ve been tricked?

Disturbingly, no one’s even thinking twice about whether it’s true. Just like kids who say I don’t know instead of actually trying to find their shoes.

 

II.
I don’t like it when things start feeling like an interrogation, and out of nowhere everyone’s running around like it’s PE class. It’s like they weren’t even ready when the suspect suddenly ran off. Wouldn’t it make more sense to plan A, B, C and maybe D, just in case? I even saw a case where the suspect spat directly in the officer’s face. Do we honestly expect suspects to mind their manners? Let’s just say the clever ones think a few moves ahead than run around like headless chickens, or, god forbid, catch some spit.

We’re literal magnets

 

I was just browsing through some languages to listen to for fun. Then, my best friend randomly messaged me asking for the lowdown on cervical spondylosis for someone she knows. So I decided to make her a fun presentation 'cause I’m her go-to human Google hehe.

A few weeks back, she handed me a bunch of books. I got everything from a dictionary, a thesaurus, and a Wordfinder, to stuff on world history, different countries, and even everything out there in space.

It’s not just books and brainy stuff, though.

So, what do we do when we wanna have fun? We usually just eat snacks and watch Dangerous Roads Around the World. She’s all in at first, then next thing I know she’s already asleep. Though when we do a bit of cleaning or some gardening, I’m outta there haha.

We’re sort of like magnets with opposite poles, but we blend really well. ♡

The Before and the After

 

I
I kinda flopped my own experiment ‘cause I really thought I’d react differently yesterday. Who’d have thought I’m not as immune as I thought, whoops. At least it gave me something to laugh about, kinda like I was watching myself do dumb stuff. So how do you just get over your own screw-ups then?

 

II
Now that I’ve actually seen how it works, the second go might be more fun now that I know the trick.

As for how I’m feeling right now, um, Idk exactly, but it’s kinda like when you cry a lot but you keep it low-key so nobody finds out. Then you wake up the next day with your eyes all puffy, and somehow your heart feels better. That’s as close as I can get to describing the feeling.

 

Looks like me and my lil’ sis found a topic that isn’t food

 

Kumakain lang ako ng turon tapos kung anu-ano na ang napuntahan ko online, napadpad tuloy ako sa thought experiment na ’to kahapon na parang paulit-ulit na lang sa utak ko.

Here’s how it goes:
Imagine you’re sitting on this chair, which is being controlled by someone and your life is suddenly in danger.

However, you’re holding a button in your hand. The button is connected to a wire at the other end. It leads to a place you can’t see.

Once the button is pressed, a stranger will die.

Will you press the button or not?

 

Lyza can figure out my answer faster than anyone, cause she knows most of the weird stuff about me. (￣▽￣)／

I always think of the universe in a video game sort of way. Think of it like playing Super Mario minus the Game Over screen. You know how, as kids, we’d keep playing just to see what the next level looked like? It’s kind of like that with the universe. We’re never, ever going to run out of things to discover.

spilled coffee & other thoughts

 

At least I’m eating a sandwich

---

Ok so I bumped my iced coffee and spilled it.

Eh di pinunasan ko na lang. Like, what else was I gonna do? Mag-iiyak sa sahig? You know how easy it is to lose your cool over trivial stuff? I’m getting kinda good at just shrugging it off now. I was like, whatever, and just ate my peanut butter sandwich. Still rolled my eyes though 🤪

 

 

Observing the Observer

---

When I sit down to watch something, I’m not just watching what’s going on. I’m also hyper-aware of my own reactions to it. Like, what even is this feeling? Why did that suddenly set me off? Then I’m like, would I even survive that I Saw the Devil taxi scene? Bold of me to assume, though. Realistically, I’d be out before I even said hello.

Just humming and singing along ( ˘▽˘)っ♪ ♫

Tam-mai dtong pen ter kon tee mai keuy rak chan

Tam-mai jai chan yang fang yoo kae ter

Tat jai sak gee krang, soot-tai gor yang pen ter

Kon tee tam hai chan tang yim lae mee nam-ta

Ying pa-ya-yam tao-rai, ying tam hai ter ram-kan
Gor roo dee tang nan, tae jai chan tam yang-rai
Kon man rak pai laew, ja hai feun jai yang-rai wai

Kae kit ja tat jai, nam-ta man gor lai... ok ma

Chorus:
Kon mee pen lan, tam-mai jai chan teung dtong lueak ter
Kon tee mai keuy hen kwam sam-kan nai tua chan loey
Yak ja tat jai lop ter ok pai, tae gor tam mai keuy dai loey
Meuan dohn kam-sap tee dtong long-oei hai rak dai kae ter

Kon tee kao rak, tae jai glap mai rak Kon tee mai rak, pai rak kao tam-mai

Ying pa-ya-yam tao-rai, ying tam hai ter ram-kan
Gor roo dee tang nan, tae jai chan tam yang-rai
Kon man rak pai laew, ja hai feun jai yang-rai wai

Kae kit ja tat jai, nam-ta man gor lai... ok ma

(Repeat Chorus)

 

Enjoying the sounds

 

🎧 Just passing time with a few songs

Gonna do some pronunciation stuff tomorrow morning. Just for fun before I get into anything serious. (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ 

What if?

 

Looks can be deceiving

---

I was looking into a case earlier involving 11 different individuals. It’s such a random mix of people with totally different backgrounds, kaya naman kanya-kanya sila ng trip at diskarte sa kung pa'no sila mag-cope. Wala naman akong balak mag-imbestiga sa buong buhay nila. Gusto ko lang talagang makita kung ano yung mismong nag-forge sa kanila. It’s a shame the file just glossed over that.

Hindi yung mga halatang sketchy na tao na pag nakasalubong mo, mapapalingon ka na lang sa likod mo. O yung mga taong mapapa-isip ka kung safe ka ba talaga kapag kayong dalawa lang ang nasa elevator. You know what I always tell my little sis? It’s always the ones who seem the safest who you really need to watch out for.

I kinda lost interest in the case earlier, so I just ditched the whole thing and just blind-picked a random movie.

I’m halfway through and it’s starting to get under my skin. Like, if I were in the mix, what would my game plan even be? And, hypothetically, would I even last as a villager if I were trapped in the game? Or maybe I’m the one hiding in plain sight the whole time.

┐(￣～￣)┌

Patterns

 

Slow morning

---

I’ve got 15 cashew nuts to munch on, lined up in rows of five on a square napkin. I’m just kinda staring at them like they’ll magically help me write something right now. Do you see a pattern here? Even when I’m washing the dishes, I have to line up the plates and utensils by category before I even start. And once everything’s in its place, it doesn’t even feel like a chore. I wasn't even gonna write today, but that little bit of order just did the trick.

 

 

It’s 3:00 PM

---

I wasn’t really sure at first why I’d been slacking on my case notes, but now I realize it’s mainly 'cause I’m letting my thoughts just float instead of taking the time to write them out. If you know me, you know it’s a struggle not to overthink every angle whenever a case really fires up my brain.

The day the clouds went away

---

It’s hard to watch the way people in power play so dirty, treating human lives like they’re just disposable toys…

When I feel like I can’t breathe, I think about someone I really look up to, and I feel lighter right away. The feeling's just like when the clouds finally clear up and I can feel the sun on my skin again.

Had fun listening to Iwanakutemo. Also had Eine kleine Nachtmusik on earlier. 🤍

Math & Music

 

Today was pretty fun. I was geeking out over some fractional operations and exponents earlier, but later hopped over to singing just to switch things up.

I’m still finding my way around the sounds, but 'Ode an die Freude' is actually really enjoyable. I even found myself smiling thinking back to Idahosa’s method, mainly 'cause that syllable parsing I got from him is doing wonders for pronunciation. ✮⋆

naging zombie na ang ante niyo

 

Is it weird that my favorite way to wind down now is a thesaurus and some fireplace audio? Heck if I know why I even grabbed it today. Just a gut feeling, I guess. Anyways, I might as well stock up on words for when I play spelling with Elyza.

A non-linear mind

I’ve always felt that studying in a straight line just feels pretty dull. So I started off reading the A’s, then I wander off to the category section near the end. I was actually thinking of jumping to the fun letters V, W, X, Y, Z but then I thought I’d just play along and ended up running after my sis and Azyle like some kind of a zombie.

Tawa naman sila nang tawa. Parang bagay tuloy ako maging zombie 🤭 hehe!