Seeing guys
who are super smart always triggers my urge to research stuff 'cause I love
the whole process of piecing things together like a puzzle they make me
forget how much I love doing absolutely nothing.
Then there’s
this guy... the kind of guy who makes me want to sit without saying anything
and look at the stars.
You know when
you're walking and you finally close your umbrella, just to feel that slow tap
of rain on your shoulder?
That’s
exactly how it felt then, when I first saw him.
It’s about 2
in the afternoon. Was about to start my research but it was just too hot to
think straight. Now I'm just staying chill with some lo-fi playing while the
sun tries to kill me. Just kidding. I'm just cooling off with a soda and
munching my emotional support snacks.
Should I read
a horror manga or just watch Shin-chan and ignore the fact that I’m older than
his mom?
Thursday, May
7 Tell
me you’re an old soul without telling me
I always
think it’s cool when I see someone reading books or mangas at cafรฉs, parks, or
even random waiting areas. I find myself wanting to know the backstory of why
they’re reading that right now.
I guess
that’s also why my favorite memory is that one time at Venice Mall, I was
walking around when I suddenly came across this girl reading an Agatha Christie
book.
Seeing her
read my favorite author out of nowhere? Like, what are the chances of stumbling
into that? When most of Christie's books were from the 1920s and 50s?
Friday, May 8 Manga
Heaven
Exactly 4:39 pm.
I was just watching some videos of people hanging out in comic book cafes, and
I had this random realization. For me, it's not just about having a quiet place
to unwind. Just the feeling of having thousands of manga books all around me...
that is my kind of heaven.
Fast forward to 9:30 PM.
My roommate just handed me a fluffy coffee bun, and now for some well-deserved
manga time (๏พ◕ใฎ◕)๏พ
Gannibal by Ninomiya Masaaki
Kimi ga Bokura wo Akuma to Yonda Koro by Sano Takashi
Hitogui (Man Eater) by Kuraishi Yuu
Dokumushi by Yazu Michio and illustrated by Aida Keito
It’s 4:35 in
the afternoon. I’m just sitting here with some lofi beats playing, thinking
about what I want my future to look like and also kinda in the mood to write a
bit about alone time...
I enjoy
seeing people go on solo walks somewhere with lots of trees and mountains
around, especially the ones camping alone and just really comfortable being by
themselves.
It’s not
about being an introvert; it’s about (1) protecting your internal peace and (2)
finally being okay with just being you. We spend so much time trying to decide
if we’re introverts, extroverts, or ambiverts, but those are just psychological
stickers people put on us.
Buti pa yung
pusa ng kapitbahay namin, hindi yon nagpapa-validate ng existence niya o
nag-iisip kung introvert ba siya. Basta nabubuhay lang siya nang payapa gaya ng
chonky rabbit namin.
Random gems I watched today
You know those days when you just
want to zone out, read comics,
play games, and do absolutely nothing?
Wait, is that every day for me? ๐คญ
Usually I’m on the timid side, so
if people are watching me, I run away.
But I can’t run away from bread. ( ⁀▽⁀ )
This is a comic cafรฉ where I used
to go with my high school friends…
When I come here, I feel comfortable because I can concentrate
without thinking while reading a comic book.
I don’t think
I ever told you… you’re someone I really look up to, Jen. What I’ve realized is
it’s not just that you’re super kind, but also the way you're like a ray of
sunshine to everyone around you.
I’m kinda
hoping we run into each other again. Maybe next time it’s in Korea haha
She’s super bubbly and
has such a high-level mind. ♡
If my
heartbeat changed sounds, it’d be Liszt’s Paganini Etude No. 6 on loop
It’s 10:35 am.
How is it that I don’t feel much with video games, but the second I put on
classical music, I turn into that kid who gets too lost in their own little
world. Do you guys also just get sucked into stuff like this Do you ever
feel the same way?
Heat be
damned
It is 11:54
in the morning. I couldn't care less about the weather around here. I’m just
over here treating myself to some ice cream and watching someone stroll through
the rain in this video.
It’s that
Game Over feeling
7:55 in the
evening. There are things I think about writing, but I usually stop myself. Maybe
because I just like having my little secrets, or I got tired just thinking
about typing it. I also used to love figuring out people like it was a mystery
game. Now everything just feels… too familiar. I guess my brain just outgrew
the same old toys.
ok these were the parts I pretended to understand like imma scientist.
The Scale: "Our sun is just a speck in the vast beach of stars. But the Milky Way galaxy is in itself is just one of 100 billion galaxies scattered throughout the cosmos."
The Question: "So, what is space? Does space only exist when there’s stuff in it? Does space only have a meaning when it’s enclosed by walls? Think of the distance between two objects. Does that gap still exist if you take the objects away? What meaning can we give to distance if it doesn’t have a start and end point? Does space in itself have form?"
The Fact: "Our entire universe is 13.7 billion years old."
It’s 9 PM and
I was about to start reading until 11 then just sleep. After seeing so many
people at the hospital yesterday, I’ve been taking a step back and really
looking at where I’m at, both physically and mentally. Now I’m slowly going
through the science side of health, like aging and how the body actually works,
and two are still unfinished because I said later and meant never ever.
Anyways,
nag-ayos na rin ako ng hoodie at joggers kasi game na ulit ako sa long walks at
strength training. For food, OMAD lang most days then water fast kapag wala
talagang ulam baka sakaling maging kasing payat ako ni Karina ng aespa haha or I
might still be around in like 4–5 billion years, just reading about that immortal
jellyfish while the Milky Way and Andromeda slowly turn into one big
galaxy up there.
Paganini’s Caprice No. 24 and No. 5 have that whoa kind of energy that’s so unique, you’ll feel like you’ve been dragged right into the middle of a duel.
Wait,
what just happened?
Main
character energy at 10:30.
Got me some matcha milk and three sandwiches while
I’m pretending I’m not just looking at shapes in this physics book. Anyways,
I’m at the hospital with my best friend. But from how I look, you’d think I’m
sitting in a coffee shop right now. Wherever I go, I somehow make places feel
like a Comic cafรฉ or a quiet corner of a park. I just sit. Read. And watch
people pass by Tapos hindi ko na maalis yung tingin ko sa doctor na crush
ko dito.
Just doing a
bit of reading of Newton’s biography while having dinner. I’ve got Korean fried
chicken and a yogurt-tasting ice cream soda, and four more books I get to enjoy
reading before bedtime: Wonders of the Universe, The God Equation, Astrophysics
for People in a Hurry, and The Illustrated Theory of Everything.
If I pretend
I’m in a reading competition, I bet I can finish the whole stack before
Saturday night. But I’ve got a little sister and the attention span of a
goldfish, so… good luck to me. One’s a joke, but I won’t say which one haha.
It’s strange
how rain can feel like background noise and therapy at the same time. I wonder how
you feel about it though.
Music’s on, and I keep finding myself admiring my favorite polymath.
Admiration? I
suppose that word feels too light for what I can’t stop thinking about.
And of
course, it’s Isaac Newton.
Newton
usually just kept to himself when he was deep in thought. He would spend a lot
of time solving big problems about how things move and fall. This helped him
figure out gravity and motion, and also helped him build something called
calculus, what’s that, huh? A kind of math for when things move, speed up, slow
down, curve, or fall, and you want to know why. Oh boy, I don’t wanna know why (－‸แ)
Anyways, I spend a lot of time on my own too, with books and research that
might look boring to others, but I swear, people bore me even more (just
kidding lol).
'I don't know what I may appear to
the world, but to myself, I seem to have been only like a boy, playing on the
sea shore. Diverting myself by now and then finding a smoother pebble or
prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all
undiscovered before me.'
I was
scrolling through Facebook and stumbled across my first crush from freshman
year. I had to stop and squint at the screen for a sec. I get that it’s been
ages since then, but the change was so insane I had to double-check who I was
looking at. I’m still trying to process how two people the same age can look
decades apart.
Then I
remembered David Sinclair talking about biological age vs chronological age, and
suddenly I felt like I got hit with a random lecture in the middle of
scrolling. You know how some people’s age just doesn’t match their face, while
others look nothing like how young they say they are lol.
I’ve resorted
to just guessing their age like I’m betting on a horse I’ve never seen.
I’ve got rain
sounds playing, and I’m really excited to read anything about the universe for
around four hours. After that, I’m gonna watch a documentary.
Also,
romanticizing the idea of a nighttime routine so I actually do it haha. I’ll go
for a walk, maybe an hour or two, then read about Isaac Newton before I get
yeeted into sleep.
Thursday,
April 23
I. I was just scrolling Pinterest for science and physics experiments when out
of nowhere my little sis showed up with her laptop and started showing me her
games like I was a visitor. She knows gaming isn’t my thing but ignores it,
even making me sit through her Adopt Me and Bloxburg gameplay and, for the
fifth time, making me choose a Forsaken character again, not that I volunteered
or anything.
Then I went
into sleep mode the whole afternoon, like my energy got nerfed by my little sis
haha
II.
Got a glass of coke and some chicken barbecue for dinner thanks to my best
friend. I kinda feel like watching documentaries now, like I suddenly became
productive after sleeping the whole day.
Wednesday,
April 22
Laws
of sibling dynamics 11:33 in the morning. I was drinking a probiotic drink like it’s
makgeolli for some reason while my little sis had this blueberry, almond,
banana, apple smoothie. She didn’t like it so now I’ve got two drinks. Parang
nung kumain siya ng turon yung balat lang gusto niya, kaya sakin napunta yung
saging (╯°□°）╯
So now I’m on
my way to buy graham crackers since she’s making blueberry cheesecake but I’m
also hiding my ice cream.
Sibling
entropy Exactly 3:10. I had like 16 books lined up to
read for 15 or 30 minutes each, and she even brought a Harry Potter book. We
didn't read anything at all ’cause kiddo never runs out of stuff to say. Is she
ever gonna stop talking? I wish the floor would just open up and swallow me
haha
Low power mode Almost 5 pm. I was gonna read but now I’m like
maybe I’ll just watch for now. Heavy cases feel a little overwhelming at the
moment, and I’m still organizing my Korean tracker anyway. I’ve got till
Saturday, so I’ll just read and watch stuff for now before I start the next 60
days that are basically my next evolution stage.
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