loading...

 

...

pizza confessions and why ghosts don't want to meet me

 

confession

Almost 8 in the evening. My best friend gave me a slice of pizza so obviously I had to add chips and some cold soda. I'm so dead if my big sister finds out 🤭

She’s based in Laguna, but I’ll be staying at her place in a month or so. It took me a while to make up my mind 'cause my little sister and I have a really close bond here. But I really do miss my older sister, though. I miss how sweet she’s always been to me.

By the way, the little sister I keep writing about isn't related to me by blood, but that changes nothing 'cause Elyza knows my ears are still suffering from her non-stop yapping, and her brain cells are still suffering from my broken humor lmao Annoying each other's just our way of showing we’re super-duper close.

if we launch a startup together, what’s your cut on the teleportation tech?

I used to think the dark was the scariest thing ever. If a horror movie had a scene in a dark forest, or some rundown abandoned house at night, I’d cover my face right away. But I finally grew some backbone after that.

Ever since I got curious about physics and dark energy, I realized that ghosts are honestly the least of my worries.

I bet ghosts wouldn't even like me because I’d just pull out a notebook and ask for the science behind how they defy physics and teleport from room to room, or how they turn lights on and off and smash them without touching them, 'cause we could definitely sell that tech.

I’d even ask if they can bypass NASA and just go straight to the moon or outside the Milky Way, and if going beyond the observable universe is even possible for them, or if they’re just local ghosts with no career growth.

nothing but the sound of the rain and an empty road

 

If only I could teleport to the province rn and just wander down a road in the middle of Sana pwedeng mag-teleport sa probinsya ngayon para makalanghap naman ng malinis na hangin. Yung tipong magpagala-gala lang kung saan-saan habang bumubuhos yung napakalakas na ulan. Sobrang therapeutic lang talaga. Tapos tatambay ka lang sa may silungan pag pagod na maglakad para lang mag-kape.

 

Eating some egg and coco jam sandwiches and just enjoying this video.

wandered off like a lost tourist

You know when you start writing one thing and somehow find yourself writing something else? That always happens to me when I write.

I was just writing about how I'm so into the whole solo camper setup, especially those hanging out in the back of their cars up in the mountains, but then I randomly thought of my favorite ones who enjoy aesthetic cafe-hopping and just strolling through places without a plan.

And then I thought of this super pretty friend of mine who's always munching on different snacks, just talks and talks and eats like a kid. It’s so hard to picture it with her beautiful face ( ˶^ ▽ ^˶ ) But like, how did I even end up writing about her instead?

Anyway, dinner time-ish. Just sitting here looking at a photo of my favorite guy reading, and it just made me really want to read, too.

Tonight’s late-night read: Melvina's Therapy. 

"The unhappy one is like a parasite…"

"When I felt that everything was lost… I realized something. Reality is not immutable. Reality is that which you paint yourself. That little by little… ends up becoming real."

my favorite quiet guy

Seeing guys who are super smart always triggers my urge to research stuff 'cause I love the whole process of piecing things together like a puzzle they make me forget how much I love doing absolutely nothing.

Then there’s this guy... the kind of guy who makes me want to sit without saying anything and look at the stars.

 

You know when you're walking and you finally close your umbrella, just to feel that slow tap of rain on your shoulder?

That’s exactly how it felt then, when I first saw him.

3-day diary i swear i did stuff

 

Wednesday, May 6
While I hide from the sun

It’s about 2 in the afternoon. Was about to start my research but it was just too hot to think straight. Now I'm just staying chill with some lo-fi playing while the sun tries to kill me. Just kidding. I'm just cooling off with a soda and munching my emotional support snacks.

Should I read a horror manga or just watch Shin-chan and ignore the fact that I’m older than his mom?

Thursday, May 7
Tell me you’re an old soul without telling me

I always think it’s cool when I see someone reading books or mangas at cafés, parks, or even random waiting areas. I find myself wanting to know the backstory of why they’re reading that right now.

I guess that’s also why my favorite memory is that one time at Venice Mall, I was walking around when I suddenly came across this girl reading an Agatha Christie book.

Seeing her read my favorite author out of nowhere? Like, what are the chances of stumbling into that? When most of Christie's books were from the 1920s and 50s?

Friday, May 8
Manga Heaven

Exactly 4:39 pm.
I was just watching some videos of people hanging out in comic book cafes, and I had this random realization. For me, it's not just about having a quiet place to unwind. Just the feeling of having thousands of manga books all around me... that is my kind of heaven.

Fast forward to 9:30 PM.
My roommate just handed me a fluffy coffee bun, and now for some well-deserved manga time (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ

Gannibal by Ninomiya Masaaki

Kimi ga Bokura wo Akuma to Yonda Koro by Sano Takashi

Hitogui (Man Eater) by Kuraishi Yuu

Dokumushi by Yazu Michio and illustrated by Aida Keito

Grimace by Katsumata Hiroki

U12 (Under Twelve) by Yamikawa Kou

Being your own best friend

 

It’s 4:35 in the afternoon. I’m just sitting here with some lofi beats playing, thinking about what I want my future to look like and also kinda in the mood to write a bit about alone time...

I enjoy seeing people go on solo walks somewhere with lots of trees and mountains around, especially the ones camping alone and just really comfortable being by themselves.

It’s not about being an introvert; it’s about (1) protecting your internal peace and (2) finally being okay with just being you. We spend so much time trying to decide if we’re introverts, extroverts, or ambiverts, but those are just psychological stickers people put on us.

Buti pa yung pusa ng kapitbahay namin, hindi yon nagpapa-validate ng existence niya o nag-iisip kung introvert ba siya. Basta nabubuhay lang siya nang payapa gaya ng chonky rabbit namin.

Random gems I watched today

You know those days when you just want to zone out, read comics,
play games, and do absolutely nothing?
Wait, is that every day for me? 🤭

Usually I’m on the timid side, so if people are watching me, I run away.
But I can’t run away from bread. ( ⁀▽⁀ )

This is a comic café where I used to go with my high school friends…
When I come here, I feel comfortable because I can concentrate
without thinking while reading a comic book. 

고독한 우석씨 ♡

Just a little note

 

I don’t think I ever told you… you’re someone I really look up to, Jen. What I’ve realized is it’s not just that you’re super kind, but also the way you're like a ray of sunshine to everyone around you.

I’m kinda hoping we run into each other again. Maybe next time it’s in Korea haha

She’s super bubbly and has such a high-level mind. ♡

System log

 

If my heartbeat changed sounds, it’d be Liszt’s Paganini Etude No. 6 on loop

It’s 10:35 am. How is it that I don’t feel much with video games, but the second I put on classical music, I turn into that kid who gets too lost in their own little world. Do you guys also just get sucked into stuff like this Do you ever feel the same way?

 

Heat be damned

It is 11:54 in the morning. I couldn't care less about the weather around here. I’m just over here treating myself to some ice cream and watching someone stroll through the rain in this video.

 

It’s that Game Over feeling

7:55 in the evening. There are things I think about writing, but I usually stop myself. Maybe because I just like having my little secrets, or I got tired just thinking about typing it. I also used to love figuring out people like it was a mystery game. Now everything just feels… too familiar. I guess my brain just outgrew the same old toys.

 

ok these were the parts I pretended to understand like imma scientist.

The Scale: "Our sun is just a speck in the vast beach of stars. But the Milky Way galaxy is in itself is just one of 100 billion galaxies scattered throughout the cosmos."

The Question: "So, what is space? Does space only exist when there’s stuff in it? Does space only have a meaning when it’s enclosed by walls? Think of the distance between two objects. Does that gap still exist if you take the objects away? What meaning can we give to distance if it doesn’t have a start and end point? Does space in itself have form?"

The Fact: "Our entire universe is 13.7 billion years old."

Ok the hospital was a bit of a wake-up call

 

It’s 9 PM and I was about to start reading until 11 then just sleep. After seeing so many people at the hospital yesterday, I’ve been taking a step back and really looking at where I’m at, both physically and mentally. Now I’m slowly going through the science side of health, like aging and how the body actually works, and two are still unfinished because I said later and meant never ever.

Anyways, nag-ayos na rin ako ng hoodie at joggers kasi game na ulit ako sa long walks at strength training. For food, OMAD lang most days then water fast kapag wala talagang ulam baka sakaling maging kasing payat ako ni Karina ng aespa haha or I might still be around in like 4–5 billion years, just reading about that immortal jellyfish while the Milky Way and Andromeda slowly turn into one big galaxy up there.

✎...

 

Good morning, now here’s some chaos by Paganini

Around 9 in the morning.

Paganini’s Caprice No. 24 and No. 5 have that whoa kind of energy that’s so unique, you’ll feel like you’ve been dragged right into the middle of a duel.

Wait, what just happened?

Main character energy at 10:30.

Got me some matcha milk and three sandwiches while I’m pretending I’m not just looking at shapes in this physics book. Anyways, I’m at the hospital with my best friend. But from how I look, you’d think I’m sitting in a coffee shop right now. Wherever I go, I somehow make places feel like a Comic café or a quiet corner of a park. I just sit. Read. And watch people pass by Tapos hindi ko na maalis yung tingin ko sa doctor na crush ko dito.