I don’t think
I ever told you… you’re someone I really look up to, Jen. What I’ve realized is
it’s not just that you’re super kind, but also the way you're like a ray of
sunshine to everyone around you.
I’m kinda
hoping we run into each other again. Maybe next time it’s in Korea haha
If my
heartbeat changed sounds, it’d be Liszt’s Paganini Etude No. 6 on loop
It’s 10:35 am.
How is it that I don’t feel much with video games, but the second I put on
classical music, I turn into that kid who gets too lost in their own little
world. Do you guys also just get sucked into stuff like this Do you ever
feel the same way?
Heat be
damned
It is 11:54
in the morning. I couldn't care less about the weather around here. I’m just
over here treating myself to some ice cream and watching someone stroll through
the rain in this video.
It’s that
Game Over feeling
7:55 in the
evening. There are things I think about writing, but I usually stop myself. Maybe
because I just like having my little secrets, or I got tired just thinking
about typing it. I also used to love figuring out people like it was a mystery
game. Now everything just feels… too familiar. I guess my brain just outgrew
the same old toys.
The Scale: "Our sun is just a speck in the vast beach of stars. But the Milky Way galaxy is in itself is just one of 100 billion galaxies scattered throughout the cosmos."
The Question: "So, what is space? Does space only exist when there’s stuff in it? Does space only have a meaning when it’s enclosed by walls? Think of the distance between two objects. Does that gap still exist if you take the objects away? What meaning can we give to distance if it doesn’t have a start and end point? Does space in itself have form?"
The Fact: "Our entire universe is 13.7 billion years old."
It’s 9 PM and
I was about to start reading until 11 then just sleep. After seeing so many
people at the hospital yesterday, I’ve been taking a step back and really
looking at where I’m at, both physically and mentally. Now I’m slowly going
through the science side of health, like aging and how the body actually works,
and two are still unfinished because I said later and meant never ever.
Anyways,
nag-ayos na rin ako ng hoodie at joggers kasi game na ulit ako sa long walks at
strength training. For food, OMAD lang most days then water fast kapag wala
talagang ulam baka sakaling maging kasing payat ako ni Karina ng aespa haha or I
might still be around in like 4–5 billion years, just reading about that immortal
jellyfish while the Milky Way and Andromeda slowly turn into one big
galaxy up there.
Good morning, now here’s some chaos by Paganini
Just doing a
bit of reading of Newton’s biography while having dinner. I’ve got Korean fried
chicken and a yogurt-tasting ice cream soda, and four more books I get to enjoy
reading before bedtime: Wonders of the Universe, The God Equation, Astrophysics
for People in a Hurry, and The Illustrated Theory of Everything.
If I pretend
I’m in a reading competition, I bet I can finish the whole stack before
Saturday night. But I’ve got a little sister and the attention span of a
goldfish, so… good luck to me. One’s a joke, but I won’t say which one haha.
It’s strange how rain can feel like background noise and therapy at the same time. I wonder how you feel about it though.
Music’s on, and I keep finding myself admiring my favorite polymath.
Admiration? I
suppose that word feels too light for what I can’t stop thinking about.
And of
course, it’s Isaac Newton.
Newton
usually just kept to himself when he was deep in thought. He would spend a lot
of time solving big problems about how things move and fall. This helped him
figure out gravity and motion, and also helped him build something called
calculus, what’s that, huh? A kind of math for when things move, speed up, slow
down, curve, or fall, and you want to know why. Oh boy, I don’t wanna know why (－‸α)
Anyways, I spend a lot of time on my own too, with books and research that
might look boring to others, but I swear, people bore me even more (just
kidding lol).
'I don't know what I may appear to
the world, but to myself, I seem to have been only like a boy, playing on the
sea shore. Diverting myself by now and then finding a smoother pebble or
prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all
undiscovered before me.'
— Isaac Newton
I was
scrolling through Facebook and stumbled across my first crush from freshman
year. I had to stop and squint at the screen for a sec. I get that it’s been
ages since then, but the change was so insane I had to double-check who I was
looking at. I’m still trying to process how two people the same age can look
decades apart.
Then I
remembered David Sinclair talking about biological age vs chronological age, and
suddenly I felt like I got hit with a random lecture in the middle of
scrolling. You know how some people’s age just doesn’t match their face, while
others look nothing like how young they say they are lol.
I’ve resorted
to just guessing their age like I’m betting on a horse I’ve never seen.
Friday April
24
Early lunch.
I’ve got rain
sounds playing, and I’m really excited to read anything about the universe for
around four hours. After that, I’m gonna watch a documentary.
Also,
romanticizing the idea of a nighttime routine so I actually do it haha. I’ll go
for a walk, maybe an hour or two, then read about Isaac Newton before I get
yeeted into sleep.
Thursday,
April 23
I.
I was just scrolling Pinterest for science and physics experiments when out
of nowhere my little sis showed up with her laptop and started showing me her
games like I was a visitor. She knows gaming isn’t my thing but ignores it,
even making me sit through her Adopt Me and Bloxburg gameplay and, for the
fifth time, making me choose a Forsaken character again, not that I volunteered
or anything.
Then I went
into sleep mode the whole afternoon, like my energy got nerfed by my little sis
haha
II.
Got a glass of coke and some chicken barbecue for dinner thanks to my best
friend. I kinda feel like watching documentaries now, like I suddenly became
productive after sleeping the whole day.
Wednesday,
April 22
Laws
of sibling dynamics
11:33 in the morning. I was drinking a probiotic drink like it’s
makgeolli for some reason while my little sis had this blueberry, almond,
banana, apple smoothie. She didn’t like it so now I’ve got two drinks. Parang
nung kumain siya ng turon yung balat lang gusto niya, kaya sakin napunta yung
saging (╯°□°）╯
So now I’m on
my way to buy graham crackers since she’s making blueberry cheesecake but I’m
also hiding my ice cream.
Sibling
entropy
Exactly 3:10. I had like 16 books lined up to
read for 15 or 30 minutes each, and she even brought a Harry Potter book. We
didn't read anything at all ’cause kiddo never runs out of stuff to say. Is she
ever gonna stop talking? I wish the floor would just open up and swallow me
haha
Low power mode
Almost 5 pm. I was gonna read but now I’m like
maybe I’ll just watch for now. Heavy cases feel a little overwhelming at the
moment, and I’m still organizing my Korean tracker anyway. I’ve got till
Saturday, so I’ll just read and watch stuff for now before I start the next 60
days that are basically my next evolution stage.
“You decide what you become.” — Prodigy
(2017)
If I’m
leaving my solitude it better be a masterpiece
1:25 in the afternoon. Listening
to Vivaldi while I sit with the thought of a friend. Maybe I should just reach
out to her?
Or write about Egypt after reading something that didn’t really explain what
makes Egypt Egypt. It’s like, if you’re already that far from home, why spend
your time on stuff that feels the same as everywhere else? Why fly to Egypt if
you’re just gonna ignore thousands of years of history, especially its
mathematical foundations?
If I were undercover, I’d note the
shisha and the everyday things happening in between that most tourists probably
miss. But I’m just a low-budget human. I better see the stuff that actually
explains why it was one of the greatest empires to ever exist.
I just do
what I enjoy
I don’t really pay attention to how many books
I get through in a month or a year or whatever, like how I’ve never really
cared about laundry or friend counts or who I even talk to.
Anyways, I’m gonna grab some bread and ice cream for my lil sis.
A Thought
That Spiraled
Around 7 p.m. I came across
something earlier and started thinking, what do I actually like?
Solitude. Piecing together
patterns. Looking at things from a bird’s eye view. And that feeling when I
finally understand something, like when Holmes explains something to Watson and
he finally gets what was obvious the whole time. And then, how the universe
works. ‘Cause to me, the universe is just like the biggest cold case out there.
Based on that, what MBTI would you
say I am?
I’m fine with whatever. I’m just kind of watching my mind the way a kid watches
clouds change shape.
Enjoyment
> Completion
Actually eating lunch and reading
Humble Pie and The Maths That Made Us. Could have finished these months ago but
there’s no reason to rush so I don’t.
Told my little sis I got like 8
more math books now, didn’t tell her about the donuts and ice cream soda though
hehe. Thought I’d read 30 minutes each before I handle some serious stuff that
may or may not be serious. If you ask me why I read this stuff, I don’t even
know anymore. Curiosity, maybe. Or I just turn what I read into stories for my
little sis.
Quest
Abandoned
It is almost 11 o’clock. Better to
just sleep before I start reading the same sentence for like, the 10th time now
haha.
Right
before 6 pm
Just put on my go-to white shirt and
super comfy track pants ’cause I’m heading out to grab a burger + Coke float. I’m
never drinking Coke again after this haha, though this drink’s making me happy
for some reason and it reminds me of κ³ λ
ν
μ°μμ¨.
Around
7:25
I’m gonna watch an episode of Oh
My Ghost Clients (same guy from Pro Bono too), then I’ll get into more Isaac
Newton stuff after that, maybe even read Extraterrestrial by Avi Loeb. I’ll
probably just stick to like 30 mins each before I jump back into Signal 100 ch
17.
"Personally, I do not enjoy
science fiction when it violates the laws of physics; I like science and I like
fiction but only when they are honest, without pretensions."
— Avi Loeb, Extraterrestrial:
The First Sign of Intelligent Life Beyond Earth
"An apple was no sphere, but
he understood it to be flying through space along with the rest of the earth’s
contents, spinning across 25,000 miles each day. Why, then, did it hang gently
downward, instead of being flung outward like a stone whirled around on a
string? The same question applied to the moon: what pushed it or pulled it away
from a straight path?"
— James Gleick, Isaac Newton
Almost 9
pm already
Do you usually read with lo-fi beats
or rain ambience on? I usually go with rain sounds, but right now it’s
Vivaldi’s Spring playing.
I don’t think I ever told you… you’re someone I really look up to, Jen. What I’ve realized is it’s not just that you’re super kind, but al...
