let’s see what being in love can do

 

Out of all the things to analyze I fell in love...

Bakit ang mga lalaki pwedeng walang damit pang-itaas kapag sobrang init ng panahon? Hinubad ko na lang sando ko since nasa kwarto lang naman ako haha. Wala sana ‘kong pakialam kaya lang 'tong kapatid ko kase, walang warning kung magbukas ng pinto. Naalala ko sabi pa niya dati ba't wala akong bra lmao

Anyway, change topic tayo. The weather's blazing hot, but I don't even care. Nakatambay lang ako sa harap ng laptop, umiinom ng malamig na malamig na Coke.

Ewan ko ba kung bakit ko tinitingnan ‘tong picture niya ngayon. Parang nakahinto lang ang oras. Wala na ‘kong pakialam kung ga’no kainit ang panahon, nasa isip ko lang talaga, pa’no siya makakausap sa language niya.

 

Theme song for my current state of delusionㅋㅋㅋ

Let’s see what being in love can do...

Starting my 60-day translation grind this Monday by locking in 12 hours of daily study, with occasional 16-hour sessions just to see how far I can go. I finally made my decision (〃＾▽＾〃)

 

secret hideout

 

It’s been nearly five days since I last wrote here, but that’s just how it goes sometimes. I’ve just been enjoying some quiet time reading manga.

Speaking of which, you know how “Ibitsu” and “Tomie” really left their mark, so believe me when I say “Sayuri” just unlocked a spot in my top horror favorites.

Anyway, back to my voluntary social isolation. ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ 

 "When you’re all alone… remember the ways I’ve taught you before.
The insides must be well, for the outsides to be too." 

Sayuri (Vol. 1–2) — Completed

A quick roundup of what I've been happily watching

"It's not a suitable lifestyle for everyone, but it's like a heaven to me."

"In a society full of constant pressure, solitude feels like oxygen."

a solitary escape

 

It’s almost 3:00 PM.

Treating myself to yangnyeom chicken, fries, and blueberry soda ‘cause I’m spending the afternoon binging BoogieSnacks manga bookstore runs, before switching to reading horror and psychological manga till bedtime ’cause that’s somehow my idea of relaxing.

Every manga reader knows this exact feeling...

“Growing up bookstores were always a safe space to just sort of zone out and read. There’s something about being alone in the manga section and having it all to yourself and sort of just leisurely browsing the aisles.” 🤍╮(￣³￣*)

“How many of you actually go out manga shopping with a budget and a shopping list and can actually stick to it because I was trying.” ( ° ° )

 

I had to stop chewing for a second when he asked, “Does that happen to anyone where you start reading a manga, then something else comes out, maybe an anime or that leads you to read the manga for that one or a light novel and next thing you know, months have gone by and you haven’t read that particular manga that you started months and months ago.” ( ° ° )

 

“This is one of my happy places to shop. This is a store that I can spend hours and hours and hours in.” ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

current headspace

 

Give me all the manga

Alam mo yung feeling na nakatambak na yung mga manga at libro mo, hindi mo na alam kung anong uunahing basahin at kung anong tatapusin sa dami ng naumpisahan mo kaya ayon, nganga, wala ka nalang binasa?

Ang nakakatawa pa nyan, naghahanap ka pa ng mga itatambak na bagong babasahin haha ang lala. Anyone else get choice paralysis from having way too many books?

I just need to clear my head for a while so I can actually feel like myself again.

Kaya gagawin ko munang manga cafe 'tong kwarto ko hanggang Sunday. 📖📚٩(^ᗜ^*)و

 

Three things I’ll always fold for

1. Trust over love.

Too many people swear by love and wind up on a true-crime documentary. I want that childhood-level trust, but in return, I'll take your secrets to the grave like a loyal Pontifical Swiss Guard.

2. Making people laugh.

If I can make you laugh, I’ve protected your happiness even for a second.

 

3. Lastly, the ones who can make me laugh, or anyone who's ever expanded my field of vision.

Unluckily for my cold heart, they're the reason my world is multidimensional now, and not just a bleak, black-and-white.

me divided into three

 

ngl this is literally my ultimate dream. well, aside from owning like one or two.

5:29 Today I brought a novel with me. Stephen King’s “Stand by Me,” a story about boys who travel along the railroad tracks. It’s like a simple adventure, but somehow it feels like I’m looking at my own childhood.

Back then, just going to an unknown place was special. The feeling of “what’s ahead?” was much stronger than fear.

I think the reason I’m here deep in the forest now is probably because that feeling from back then still remains.

 

23:51 Walking through the dark forest, one realizes that people find comfort in “what they can see.” Just the absence of light can easily change the shape of the landscape. And the moment it disappears from view, people begin to fill in the void with their imagination.

 

24:24 Perhaps fear isn’t the existence of ghosts or monsters, but the lingering thought that “they might be there.”

some days I’m just chaos and high energy, and other days I'm exactly like this video.

 

solitary iya 2

 

The Detached Observer

So I’ve got this exact ritual where I love to just sit and watch people pass by. But nothing beats watching people do the whole solo car-camping in the woods aesthetic, or next to sketchy, abandoned houses.

What if something goes terribly wrong? Like, what if they aren't actually alone out there, and they suddenly hear a knock on the window or worse, a face is just pressed against the glass looking back at them.

Thankfully, my attention span saves me. The second they start cooking some elaborate, five-star gourmet meal on a tiny portable stove, which I can't even cook, let alone afford, I completely forget I was scared out of my mind.

Aside from the food, nature is probably the part I enjoy the most though. The best part is just breathing in fresh air and feeling a cold breeze like it's the first time all over again. Even the sounds in these videos are so satisfying. You get that ASMR of brittle leaves and twigs crunching under footsteps, especially the grinding of small stones, before they squish into wet mud. Then the rain hits the ground and you get that comforting, nostalgic scent that just fills your nose.

Moments like this make me realize that just being able to feel is a blessing.

 

 

Unbothered Introvert

If I ever get locked inside a manga café, or if by some miracle I get left behind in a room with thousands of comics and an open snack bar...

[ a ] cancel the search party before it even starts.
[ b ] don’t even worry about me.
[ c ] consider me legally dead to my responsibilities.
[ d ] all of the above.

The first thing that comes to mind is I’d stay up way past my bedtime. And since they have unlimited free drinks, treats, endless caffeine as well as soft-serve ice cream, you know my cheap soul is gonna treat that policy like an all-you-can-eat buffet. I’d just be there hiding in a booth, eating ice cream every 20 minutes while reading:

[ a ] manga I shouldn’t be caught LOOKING at in public

[ b ] manga so spicy my friend keeps them in a hidden folder

[ c ] manga I’d fake my own death on the spot if caught reading it

[ d ] Mob Psycho 100

 

Spot the odd one out. (‾◡◝)

🎧

 

Just having fun singing the rap part.

It sounds so easy when you're just listening until you actually say it😜 It really feels like a tongue twister because I keep tripping over the words, and I really have to catch my breath to pronounce them fast.

kànjiàn xìnxī bù shì bù xiǎng huí nǐ

zhǐshì wǒmen de duìhuà shǎo le yīxiē tiánmì

kànshì hěn zhèngcháng de yǔjù

dàn tòuzhe jùlí

wǒ bù zhīdào gāi

zěnme duì nǐ yěxǔ shì zhèngcháng de guānxì

wǒ měi shí měi kè dōu gàosù zìjǐ
wǒ hái shì hěn ài nǐ de
zhǐ shì lonely
bù zhīdào wēixìn shénme shíhòu kāishǐ méiyǒu biǎoqíng
nǐ de shàngbān shíjiān duō le méiyǒu nàme duō de gāoxìng

 

You know when someone interesting mentions a song they love, so you look it up and end up smiling like an idiot the whole time? 🤍

 

 

Why do I like learning Korean?

Is it because they're stacked inside a square box like Tetris blocks? Or Lego-bricked together inside a little square? Am I doing this for a future 6-digit income, that fancy TOPIK II Level 6 certificate, or maybe, just maybe, I just happen to fall in love with a Korean along the way haha

 

pizza confessions and why ghosts don't want to meet me

 

confession

Almost 8 in the evening. My best friend gave me a slice of pizza so obviously I had to add chips and some cold soda. I'm so dead if my big sister finds out 🤭

She’s based in Laguna, but I’ll be staying at her place in a month or so. It took me a while to make up my mind 'cause my little sister and I have a really close bond here. But I really do miss my older sister, though. I miss how sweet she’s always been to me.

By the way, the little sister I keep writing about isn't related to me by blood, but that changes nothing 'cause Elyza knows my ears are still suffering from her non-stop yapping, and her brain cells are still suffering from my broken humor lmao Annoying each other's just our way of showing we’re super-duper close.

if we launch a startup together, what’s your cut on the teleportation tech?

I used to think the dark was the scariest thing ever. If a horror movie had a scene in a dark forest, or some rundown abandoned house at night, I’d cover my face right away. But I finally grew some backbone after that.

Ever since I got curious about physics and dark energy, I realized that ghosts are honestly the least of my worries.

I bet ghosts wouldn't even like me because I’d just pull out a notebook and ask for the science behind how they defy physics and teleport from room to room, or how they turn lights on and off and smash them without touching them, 'cause we could definitely sell that tech.

I’d even ask if they can bypass NASA and just go straight to the moon or outside the Milky Way, and if going beyond the observable universe is even possible for them, or if they’re just local ghosts with no career growth.

nothing but the sound of the rain and an empty road

 

If only I could teleport to the province rn and just wander down a road in the middle of Sana pwedeng mag-teleport sa probinsya ngayon para makalanghap naman ng malinis na hangin. Yung tipong magpagala-gala lang kung saan-saan habang bumubuhos yung napakalakas na ulan. Sobrang therapeutic lang talaga. Tapos tatambay ka lang sa may silungan pag pagod na maglakad para lang mag-kape.

 

Eating some egg and coco jam sandwiches and just enjoying this video.

wandered off like a lost tourist

You know when you start writing one thing and somehow find yourself writing something else? That always happens to me when I write.

I was just writing about how I'm so into the whole solo camper setup, especially those hanging out in the back of their cars up in the mountains, but then I randomly thought of my favorite ones who enjoy aesthetic cafe-hopping and just strolling through places without a plan.

And then I thought of this super pretty friend of mine who's always munching on different snacks, just talks and talks and eats like a kid. It’s so hard to picture it with her beautiful face ( ˶^ ▽ ^˶ ) But like, how did I even end up writing about her instead?

Anyway, dinner time-ish. Just sitting here looking at a photo of my favorite guy reading, and it just made me really want to read, too.

Tonight’s late-night read: Melvina's Therapy. 

"The unhappy one is like a parasite…"

"When I felt that everything was lost… I realized something. Reality is not immutable. Reality is that which you paint yourself. That little by little… ends up becoming real."

my favorite quiet guy

Seeing guys who are super smart always triggers my urge to research stuff 'cause I love the whole process of piecing things together like a puzzle they make me forget how much I love doing absolutely nothing.

Then there’s this guy... the kind of guy who makes me want to sit without saying anything and look at the stars.

 

You know when you're walking and you finally close your umbrella, just to feel that slow tap of rain on your shoulder?

That’s exactly how it felt then, when I first saw him.