Snacking on BBQ pork, nuggets, and cheesedog, watching Max Zeng flex his brain faster than I can panic-delete my browser history. π€
Big
feast today ’cause everyone’s heading to a spring resort first thing tomorrow. As
for me and Tatay? We’re
the official stay-at-homes. I
have, like, 889 videos saved for my research folder. But compared to Tatay’s collection,
mine’s just a warm-up.
I watched some U.S. college students mess up easy
questions in a few videos, and instead of laughing like the interviewer, I felt
curious. Why do we forget what seems like a no-brainer? To me, it’s easy, my
brain forgets what my heart never really clicked with.
We cram facts into students’ heads but leave their
questions out in the cold. We teach them the 'what', but never the 'wow'. It’s
not about being slow or smart, just that the spark to explore was never lit. So
it’s no surprise their knowledge slips.
Ever had lunch with someone who talks more
than they chew?
That’s my adorable sister.
Yup, it’s me again, casually slurping buko juice and
snacking on boiled eggs. When my little sister makes herself comfy next to me
like, “I gotta tell you what happened in my games!” She knows I’m not into it, but
tells me anyway like I’m her #1 fan. I don't need to understand the games. I
just need to understand the sparkle in her eyes when she starts her game rants.
Nature’s way of saying, ‘Why not both?’
Earlier, I was glued to a Chinese mystery series and
found out about gynandromorphism, a rare butterfly phenomenon where one side’s
male and the other’s female. Yin and yang, but with butterfly swagger.
I
can’t remember the exact day we met, and maybe that’s okay. Some memories
don’t need dates, just feelings.
I was supposed to meet my high school buddy at
7-Eleven, and then surprise! I got a message saying you were picking me up
instead. I’d only just started learning how to do things solo, and there you
were, all smiles.
I thought we’d hop on a trike, but it turned into a
casual walk instead. I just laughed to myself, mainly because you didn’t stop
talking the whole time and somehow never ran out of breath. Like… how?? π From then on, hanging
out with you was something I looked forward to. You always had this light about
you, and seeing how happy my friend was around you gave me a little happy vibe
too.
Oh, and my favorite thing about you? How you care for
your siblings. It’s the kind of love that makes me want to call my own sister
and pretend I’m not crying after.
P.S.
Just a little thank-you note from someone who thinks you were one of life’s
coolest surprises.
Wait… It’s Been Nine Years?!
Time’s painted us in new colors.
Maybe that’s just how life likes to play,
switching crayons
when you finally like the color.
I hope you’re super okay,
with plenty of rest too.
Just felt like letting you know
you made my world a little warmer back then
(and a lot funnier too).
I joked about calling you mom,
but you’ve always been
my little sis.
I gave up chasing meaning, and somewhere along the
way, happiness stopped being a finish line too. These days, curiosity’s got me
dancing to a new beat. While most people hug their answers like teddy bears, I
collect questions and discoveries like limited-edition PokΓ©mon.
Night, buddy! Catch you tomorrow.
You ever randomly remember something fun or cool you
used to do, and just stop for a sec thinking, ‘Oh man, that was a good time!’? I
remembered something I used to love. I used to start every day with meditation
and a long walk. I cannot quite say when or why I let it go, only that I did.
Now I’m being drawn back.
There was a time when order ruled my days. Back then,
I followed a quiet routine: going to bed and getting up around the same time,
daily meditation, going for long walks or the occasional jog, and eating just
one meal at 2 PM.
Naturally, life had other ideas. Things never go quite
the way you imagine.
And that’s when I understood: how I deal with the
unexpected is the true game-changer, outclassing the plan itself. What really
counts is how I improvise when life flips the table.
I now welcome unpredictability as my go-to sparring
partner, after all, a fight without surprise is just boring.
Ever seen those American street interviews where
geography turns into a guessing game? I’m just waiting to be called up, lol.
History, Geography, or a Solo Performance
(for IELTS)
I started the day with buttery toast and a cold glass
of milk. Now the real question: do I time-travel to my favorite ancient
civilization, summon my geography nerd beast, or hold a solo IELTS speaking
test? Honestly, I’m killing it in the solo talk department.
Spinning the wheel of fate,
the choices steam like buns,
hot and ready!
Can’t Believe It’s Night Already
Night’s already here, and I’m still spiraling down the
Egyptian history rabbit hole. My joy doubled seeing a toddler already poking
around ancient sites like a tiny archaeologist-in-the-making beside his
anthropologist mom.
From ancient bones to modern tones, here comes my
favorite IELTS speaker from Sri Lanka. I kinda feel like the examiner would ask
for a water break from laughing if it were me answering, haha.
Talking to you brings out the curious,
daredevil-in-training kid in me
(the one who’d ask ‘why,’ again and again,
like a machine gun).
For me, you have always been a spiritual father
disguised as a tutor.
You never asked me to write.
You simply made it safe to feel…
and the words came on their own.
If only you’d been my tutor when I was a kid,
I might’ve ended up a philosophy professor like you.
But instead of writing a tragedy starring me,
I hear your voice saying,
“Regret is like gum you dropped in the
dirt… and still picked up.”
And now, Zen’s got that bubblegum vibe on! ππ¬π«§
May 19, Monday: Let’s Take It Slow Today
While
Nanay relaxes in her favorite chair, I’m playing around with the map so I can
turn playtime into a secret geography lesson for my kid sister.
And Then Came Tuesday
Earlier,
she goes,
“Is Wales a country?”
So I threw it back,
“What do you think?”
She just tossed out a
“Kuya Prince said so.”
My style?
Questions, not shortcuts.
I’m more of a
‘make you think’ kind of person.
Next thing she drops on me goes like this:
“I’m number two in class,” she said with a grin.
I asked, leaning in,
“Who’s first?”
She gave me a non-answer face.
“Don’t know.”
I smiled.
‘Isn’t the fun part in finding out?’
Tuesday,
9 PM.
Welcome to My Brain’s Random Chatter.
Entry
One:
Out here walking at night to cool off stress that, as usual, my brain just
invented out of thin air. Sometimes I wish I could pause what I feel.
Just for a moment. I get overwhelmed. I really do. I don’t always want to talk.
I’m not a robot; sometimes, I glitch. But I try to be honest, with myself and
with you. So you see, it’s alright to have days like that too.
Entry
Two:
We aren’t sisters by blood, but definitely sisters in sarcasm and secret
kindness. You’re kind, but not in a spotlight-stealing way. I question my own
kindness daily, so no pressure to be perfect.
Entry Three:
Funny how, through it all, you’ve made me want to be the teacher kids actually
like. Every time we go over your textbooks, the complaining sessions never
stop—hahaha! But you still ace those quizzes. Maybe whining is your hidden
superpower. π€
So Much for a Lullaby, for This Turned
into an All-Night Serenade
I
don’t speak Khmer yet, but I’m kinda obsessed with its beats and rhythm. The
sound drew me to lie still and get lost in the stars above. I tried listening,
thinking it’d just be my bedtime background noise, but the tunes kept me
staring at the ceiling till 4 AM. Who knew insomnia could sound this beautiful?
Saturday,
One Minute to Midnight…
For a Once-Close Confidant
Reading your message felt like meeting a ghost of who
I used to be. A trace of a me I left behind for good. Time carved me gently
into someone I barely recognize. I used to question purpose and meaning like a
curious kid. The heart never wonders why it beats, it simply beats free. And
that’s how I roll now.
Guess what, when I found the one my heart feels safe with, she just walked
right in like she belonged. People say that she’s the kind of beautiful that
turns heads, but it was her deep talks that hit different. Convos with her feel
like therapy, minus the awkward couch. She’s danced through pain and came out
with a killer sense of humor, reminding me that sometimes healing sounds like
laughter.
I quit measuring life with years, calendars, and clocks, because time only hits
me when I’m stuck doing nothing fun. No need for an endgame.
Leaving this note as my small wave goodbye.
Away from the digital noise,
life’s been a comedy offline,
and I’m following the happy beats.
Thank you for being a kindred soul on the road.
Wishing you good things ahead. :)
Laid-back night
Relaxing
in bed, vibing to some Cambodian soft beats before my brain puts on its glasses
and bows to the gods of study when the sun wakes up.
Brain’s Chillin’ in Pajamas Now, but Tomorrow It Goes Into Gladiator Mode
Giggling uncontrollably at a random series I clicked just because I was too
lazy to choose, and wow, they just upgraded my whole vibe! Funny how my
favorite faces showed up by accident.
So many lessons to explore tomorrow, feels like I’m
going on a blind date with knowledge. Who knows? Maybe one’s daring me with a
ticket to Thailand, Vietnam, or Cambodia. Wherever the road decides to throw
me, I’ll be grinning like I know what’s going on.
A Chill Meal Before I Go Full Nerd
AM
vibes — sippin’ milk, munchin’ cake, because brain cells don’t run on vibes
alone π
Lunch Hour Thoughts
Tatay’s
tuned into world affairs; I munch on veggies lovingly cooked by Nanay then help
her make dessert, side by side. Who’s hanging out next to me? The unexpected
sibling who filled a gap I didn’t even realize existed.
Where Laughter Meets Sacred Camaraderie
Here
I was,
chilling in my dark room
Laughing along to a Cambodian comedy,
when my little sister bursts in and yells,
"Aha!"
Like I’d been caught
watching something scandalous. π
Then she laughs and says,
“I’m making you French toast.”
You somehow
make the most ordinary moments
feel extraordinary.
Dearest French Toast Princess,
Time straight up evaporates when we’re goofing around. Like earlier today, when
we were cramming, I mean reviewing, for your Bible Quiz Bee finals. You’re one
of the seven picked, but to me? You already wear the crown. You roll your eyes
when I say you’re the smartest person I know, but I mean it. I tease you
nonstop, but never once have I doubted you. You always see me buried in
research like I’m decoding ancient scrolls, but that’s my jam. Nevertheless, you’ve
always been first in line to my world.
Even if I end up teaching halfway across the world,
I’ll always be there for your questions, your passions, and even your rants.
You never have to edit yourself. Toss your feelings at me; I can make it
funnier.
Singing is your sanctuary. Whether laughing with
friends or lost in your own world, you sing. Black is your favorite color. It
mirrors you, like night holding space for stars. The night doesn’t dominate the
stars, it makes room for them. The way your hand moves to your hair says
comfort. Your glow-up was fire, but your realness had hearts melting. Admiration
is common, but awe is, 'How can someone be this real?'. You baby your
dog like royalty, then gently correct her for misbehaving.
And what I really respect?
You’re so straightforward.
You are the mic drop, incarnate.
Now that’s a rare kind of beautiful.
And as if that weren’t enough…
You speak, yet you listen.
Most never even try.
Blasting My Fave Thai Song π
π΅
Dancing like the girl with the long black hair in the
video, singing like I’m in love, all while snacking on frozen cake and iced
milk.
Bunny Hunt, Courtesy of My Sibling in
Crime
I’m vibing in my main character moment
when my sister pops in, her face a picture of innocence,
and says, “Mind helping me find my rabbit?”
Wherefore Art Thou, Rabbit?
I halted my song and froze my dance,
all for thee!
Mine own sibling, the yang to my yin,
Dost keep things playful with a cheeky spin. π°π€
Falling Is My Warm-Up
Onlookers see the smile, but never the courage behind
it. What they don’t see are the heartbreaks from trying, despite the knocks,
the sting of every 'no', and the 'good luck with that' odds. They don’t see the
rejections I silently carry or the emotional breakdown behind the learner they
think they know.
Despite it all, I stand here enjoying a chilled milk.
Every fall has made me a pro at getting up,
as if I never fell.
Today was all about watching young ones practice
English conversations with online tutors. Seeing a 5th grader from South Korea
alongside girls from Vietnam and India evolve from beginner phrases to engaging
conversation left my heart softer than before.
One of the coolest stories that’s stayed with me is
about a girl from Indonesia. She only knew Bahasa when she moved to an
English-speaking school. She started from zero. She slowly worked her way up—mastered
English, studied in foreign lands, earned her degree from Oxford, and gained
admission to both Harvard and Stanford for her master’s.
Learning a language isn’t just about talking; it’s
leveling up like a game character, changing in ways we never imagined.
Playtime’s going high-level from now on,
and I’ll sneak advanced English in
without my little sister realizing
she’s learning, laughing,
and leveling up all at once!π
There you are on the bus, so tired, and even though I
don’t usually pray, I just want you safe, that’s all. Wherever you are, may you
be safe, especially on nights out. I pray that caring souls are always there
for you.
May the love that finds you be a gift, not an exchange. The kind that says, I
wish you a happy life. Love is neither a transaction (where you expect
something in return) nor a condition (based on give and take). Love, as I’ve
learned, is freedom, a lesson my biological father instilled in me. Regardless
of whether I’m part of your world or someone else holds your heart, your joy is
still my greatest wish.
You’re my favorite soul,
not for your looks,
but for what you feel like within.
To others,
you may seem like
the ultimate combination.
I do not see you
as others see you.
I see the Garden of Eden in you.
It was during my transfer to a public school in 6th
grade that our class advisor called me stupid— simply because I
wasn’t eager to compete. Quiet kids, after all, don’t come with a “look at me”
sign.
"Elyza Has Summoned Me"
Fast forward to now: My little sister asked me to
guide her for Friday’s Bible Spelling Quiz Bee. I said yes. Pray for her
classmates. Literally.
Joking aside, W, did you share quiet moments like
these with your sisters? This journal entry may seem like an internal dialogue,
but really, I’m sharing it with you. I’ll save the 'why W is my favorite letter
and you’re my favorite soul' story for another day. Can’t reveal all my secrets
at once! π
According to Nanay, talking to books doesn’t count as socializing. So I went shopping for a group where brains aren’t optional. Came across ...
