A Tug-of-War

Had to slow down before I could express anything here. My head’s been everywhere, and I feel like I’m at a crossroads again. I feel pulled between what I love and what I value, and I’m not sure how to get them together. One has to go, or I’ll forever feel like I’m trying to ride two horses going in opposite directions. If only what I’m into and what I actually care about were in the same place.

 

Maybe I’m already leaning toward one. I’m just too chicken to admit it.

💻

Snacking on fries while reading 
 

Melancholy on an evening stroll

I went out for some fresh air and somehow ended up buying a Hot-Kid milk drink I didn’t even need. Good thing I’ve got a sister who wants this. Gonna sneak her a little candy treat after our spelling bee sesh tomorrow.

But I don’t want to celebrate my birthday because I’m still feeling the pain of losing my best friend.

A few mangas before dozing off

"You don’t have to carry that burden on your own – I’ll shoulder half too."

"If you acquire this man’s bones, any wish will come true."

“Winning isn’t what matters! What matters is whether you gave it your all!”

the researcher

I’ve been exploring the foreign exchange world. Not sure why, but maybe it’s just the thrill of spotting patterns through numbers. Seeing how money moves, flows, and behaves feels like having X-ray vision, or at least that’s how I see it.

Tomorrow I’ll go through my map and note every currency, then binge every manga I want and ghost my little sister.

Elyza

Screw my dream job. If it means you’re on your own, it’s not worth it. I’m fine with the one nearby. After the 9-to-5 adulting, we can café-hop all we want. You can taste-test all the drinks, no coffee tho. And don’t forget your wallet. LMAO!

P.S. Elyza, I want to build a manga café, not Roblox.

You’re what kindness looks like to me

My best friend’s gone. I cried in the bathroom ‘cause I didn’t want Elyza to see me. I don’t want her remembering Princess and Coco again.

She was like an older sister to me, and I know no one else will ever be like her. Sometimes I wonder why angels keep finding me. Maybe I’m too dark, or maybe they’re too kind. I don’t know what else to say, or if I should’ve said anything at all.

I love you, Ate Ice. 
You’ve shown me so much kindness and warmth, and that’s what I want to pass on to other people. 

the watcher & the reader

What you don’t see

Lately, I’ve been trying to understand the situations that push younger girls to sell themselves. Some work at clubs or businesses; others do it to get by.

 

 

Reading spree

Since yesterday, I’ve been reading 7 volumes of Homunculus and now I’m on volume 10 of I Am a Hero. I might just go wild and finish ’em all this week. Anyways, gotta get my second tetanus shot tomorrow, so I’m thinking of reading some random mangas after and snagging some donuts and coffee.

You into any manga right now?

Manga & Elyza

My birthday month’s finally here. I’m just gonna read and enjoy as many mangas as I can this time. Oh shoot, I almost forgot I got a lil sister.

I got sleepy and napped earlier this afternoon, and when I woke up close to 6, I found a meal box sitting on my table with her handwriting that read ‘To Ate Iya From Elyza.’ 

Then she’s back, snacking on a Nutella sandwich and reading Wild Strawberry right beside me while mostly talking. ♡

"The pain of losing family, of losing a sibling… I know it too."

"That black sky up there… it acts as a lid over everyone’s hearts. But if you push all strangers away, your world gets smaller."

"There’s more than one way… to be a hero. You only have to help those in need and put an end to their tears."