A low-key, associative observer.
My curiosity keeps turning everyday stuff into questions, and those questions often turn into little beta tests on myself. On a regular day, I’m just like an NPC until curiosity turns me into Sherlock Holmes’ secret apprentice.
Paganini’s Caprice No. 24 and No. 5 have that whoa kind of energy that’s so unique, you’ll feel like you’ve been dragged right into the middle of a duel.
Wait,
what just happened?
Main
character energy at 10:30.
Got me some matcha milk and three sandwiches while
I’m pretending I’m not just looking at shapes in this physics book. Anyways,
I’m at the hospital with my best friend. But from how I look, you’d think I’m
sitting in a coffee shop right now. Wherever I go, I somehow make places feel
like a Comic café or a quiet corner of a park. I just sit. Read. And watch
people pass by Tapos hindi ko na maalis yung tingin ko sa doctor na crush
ko dito.
Just doing a
bit of reading of Newton’s biography while having dinner. I’ve got Korean fried
chicken and a yogurt-tasting ice cream soda, and four more books I get to enjoy
reading before bedtime: Wonders of the Universe, The God Equation, Astrophysics
for People in a Hurry, and The Illustrated Theory of Everything.
If I pretend
I’m in a reading competition, I bet I can finish the whole stack before
Saturday night. But I’ve got a little sister and the attention span of a
goldfish, so… good luck to me. One’s a joke, but I won’t say which one haha.
It’s strange
how rain can feel like background noise and therapy at the same time. I wonder how
you feel about it though.
Music’s on, and I keep finding myself admiring my favorite polymath.
Admiration? I
suppose that word feels too light for what I can’t stop thinking about.
And of
course, it’s Isaac Newton.
Newton
usually just kept to himself when he was deep in thought. He would spend a lot
of time solving big problems about how things move and fall. This helped him
figure out gravity and motion, and also helped him build something called
calculus, what’s that, huh? A kind of math for when things move, speed up, slow
down, curve, or fall, and you want to know why. Oh boy, I don’t wanna know why (－‸ლ)
Anyways, I spend a lot of time on my own too, with books and research that
might look boring to others, but I swear, people bore me even more (just
kidding lol).
'I don't know what I may appear to
the world, but to myself, I seem to have been only like a boy, playing on the
sea shore. Diverting myself by now and then finding a smoother pebble or
prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all
undiscovered before me.'
I was
scrolling through Facebook and stumbled across my first crush from freshman
year. I had to stop and squint at the screen for a sec. I get that it’s been
ages since then, but the change was so insane I had to double-check who I was
looking at. I’m still trying to process how two people the same age can look
decades apart.
Then I
remembered David Sinclair talking about biological age vs chronological age, and
suddenly I felt like I got hit with a random lecture in the middle of
scrolling. You know how some people’s age just doesn’t match their face, while
others look nothing like how young they say they are lol.
I’ve resorted
to just guessing their age like I’m betting on a horse I’ve never seen.
I’ve got rain
sounds playing, and I’m really excited to read anything about the universe for
around four hours. After that, I’m gonna watch a documentary.
Also,
romanticizing the idea of a nighttime routine so I actually do it haha. I’ll go
for a walk, maybe an hour or two, then read about Isaac Newton before I get
yeeted into sleep.
Thursday,
April 23
I. I was just scrolling Pinterest for science and physics experiments when out
of nowhere my little sis showed up with her laptop and started showing me her
games like I was a visitor. She knows gaming isn’t my thing but ignores it,
even making me sit through her Adopt Me and Bloxburg gameplay and, for the
fifth time, making me choose a Forsaken character again, not that I volunteered
or anything.
Then I went
into sleep mode the whole afternoon, like my energy got nerfed by my little sis
haha
II.
Got a glass of coke and some chicken barbecue for dinner thanks to my best
friend. I kinda feel like watching documentaries now, like I suddenly became
productive after sleeping the whole day.
Wednesday,
April 22
Laws
of sibling dynamics 11:33 in the morning. I was drinking a probiotic drink like it’s
makgeolli for some reason while my little sis had this blueberry, almond,
banana, apple smoothie. She didn’t like it so now I’ve got two drinks. Parang
nung kumain siya ng turon yung balat lang gusto niya, kaya sakin napunta yung
saging (╯°□°）╯
So now I’m on
my way to buy graham crackers since she’s making blueberry cheesecake but I’m
also hiding my ice cream.
Sibling
entropy Exactly 3:10. I had like 16 books lined up to
read for 15 or 30 minutes each, and she even brought a Harry Potter book. We
didn't read anything at all ’cause kiddo never runs out of stuff to say. Is she
ever gonna stop talking? I wish the floor would just open up and swallow me
haha
Low power mode Almost 5 pm. I was gonna read but now I’m like
maybe I’ll just watch for now. Heavy cases feel a little overwhelming at the
moment, and I’m still organizing my Korean tracker anyway. I’ve got till
Saturday, so I’ll just read and watch stuff for now before I start the next 60
days that are basically my next evolution stage.
If I’m
leaving my solitude it better be a masterpiece
1:25 in the afternoon. Listening
to Vivaldi while I sit with the thought of a friend. Maybe I should just reach
out to her?
Or write about Egypt after reading something that didn’t really explain what
makes Egypt Egypt. It’s like, if you’re already that far from home, why spend
your time on stuff that feels the same as everywhere else? Why fly to Egypt if
you’re just gonna ignore thousands of years of history, especially its
mathematical foundations?
If I were undercover, I’d note the
shisha and the everyday things happening in between that most tourists probably
miss. But I’m just a low-budget human. I better see the stuff that actually
explains why it was one of the greatest empires to ever exist.
I just do
what I enjoy
I don’t really pay attention to how many books
I get through in a month or a year or whatever, like how I’ve never really
cared about laundry or friend counts or who I even talk to.
Anyways, I’m gonna grab some bread and ice cream for my lil sis.
A Thought
That Spiraled
Around 7 p.m. I came across
something earlier and started thinking, what do I actually like?
Solitude. Piecing together
patterns. Looking at things from a bird’s eye view. And that feeling when I
finally understand something, like when Holmes explains something to Watson and
he finally gets what was obvious the whole time. And then, how the universe
works. ‘Cause to me, the universe is just like the biggest cold case out there.
Based on that, what MBTI would you
say I am?
I’m fine with whatever. I’m just kind of watching my mind the way a kid watches
clouds change shape.
Today I spent a good few minutes just
looking at my wall instead of doing literally anything useful. I was just staring
at it when I realized I’ve basically mapped out the whole world in front of me.
So my wall is a mashup of math, the universe, and geography, plus anatomy stuff
because skeletons and tummies are cool. And of course, there’s that note from
my little sis calling herself my 'nightmare.' LMAO
Of course I had to sing along haha
(＾▽＾)♪
새로운
color의 algorithm 내안을투영한 my prism 무한을펼쳐,
이감정은
violet 숨결처럼일렁거려
[Post-Chorus]
Let's make something out of nothing (Nothing, nothing, nothing)
Let's make something super beautiful (Beautiful)
Let's take, 깨어난순간날이끈이마음은 shine 시선끝은언제나 odd
[Verse 2] 지나온나의페이지속 쏟아져버린물감의
draw 특별한 shape of heart, 형용할수없어 이름이없는
emotion
[Post-Chorus]
Let's make something out of nothing (Nothing, nothing, nothing)
Let's make something super beautiful (Beautiful)
Let's take 깨어난순간날이끈이마음은 shine
(Oh, no) 시선끝은언제나
odd
[Bridge] 피어난 my jamais vu (Mm) 파고든낯선기분 (Mm) 영롱한이감각들이 바로눈앞에
[Post-Chorus]
Let's make something out of nothing (Ooh)
Let's make something super beautiful (Beautiful; Super beautiful)
Let's take, 오묘한빛의신기루같은 silhouette 아득히펼쳐지는걸 (Oh)
