Sunday, July 6, 2025

At I:IX ante meridiem on the first day of the week🕯️

You know what made me laugh just now? I randomly remembered why I lost interest in the things I used to be so into. And why I quietly drifted away from the people I once genuinely liked. It wasn't some dramatic falling out, just that, over time, I could feel the lack of genuineness. I think, when I really sit with it, it all just came down to that one feeling. That hollow feeling you get when something just isn’t genuine. And once I felt it, I couldn’t pretend I hadn’t. And honestly? I’m actually grateful. Because instead of being caught up in words and all that surface-level stuff, I found something purer. You might not expect it, but it was math. Somewhere along the way, I stopped looking for meaning in people’s words and started finding it in equations. Even then, I never fooled myself into thinking I got all of it. If anything, I was confused 90% of the time and guessing the other 10. Somehow, I think that’s why math feels honest, the way it doesn’t need to lie just to make sense.

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