June 8-24.
I realized I wasn’t just exploring new subjects. I was training myself to see
connections, build structures, and think in systems. You know how most learners
want speed first? I found myself wanting structure instead, because structure
is what makes speed possible later.
June 25.
I.
How different is the learner sitting here today from the learner who started on
June 8? Looking back, I think the biggest change is that I started out
searching for a subject to study, but I ended up building a learner I can
trust.
II.
Which version of me do I trust to stay consistent when nothing feels exciting
anymore? The version with structure. The one that wakes up at 3:45 am. The one
that studies even when nobody is watching.
June 28.
I ended up enjoying the mouth mechanics more than I expected because I became
curious about how each sound was actually made. That curiosity led me to pay
attention to what my tongue, lips, and airflow were doing to produce each
sound. It got me asking questions like, “Is this syllable aspirated? Should my
lips be rounded? Where should my tongue go? Am I getting the nasal sound right?
Why doesn’t the native speaker match the tone chart?
June 30.
I think I’m getting better at making mind maps now. Once I see the system, I
don’t have to brute-force memorize everything anymore. It’s like one keyword
brings back the whole conversation because I understand the underlying connections,
not just the words. Maybe my brain just works better with a system.
July 2.
Today, I actually think I’ve discovered my natural learning identity.
Come to think of it, I’ve been doing this all along without even realizing it.
I never really tell myself, “I need to study.” I just keep finding things I can’t
stop thinking about, to the point where I don’t even notice the time. It’s like
stumbling across a song you just can’t stop listening to.
July 3.
Why do I study chinese for 12 hours every day, even when I’m not feeling well?
As I reflected on this question, I realized something I hadn’t really put into
words before. There’s someone in my life who believes in my ability to learn on
my own.
Anyway, I noticed something about how I’ve been learning. Whenever I couldn’t
get a sound right, I’d just keep repeating it until I got it right and get kinda
annoyed at myself. From now on, I’m not getting emotionally attached to one
sound haha
July 4.
Most people see Mandarin as this huge mountain they have to climb. But I never
looked at it like that. In fact, I don’t even see Mandarin as a school subject.
If anything, it’s more than just a language to me.
July 5.
I don’t tend to rely on memorization. Instead of memorizing 34 province-level
divisions, 34 capitals, and 14 neighboring countries, I tied everything to one
trigger. From there, I can name the neighboring countries, the province or
autonomous region each borders, and instantly picture where each one sits on
the map. I’ll show my chinese tutor how I do it so she can tell me if it
actually makes sense haha
July 6.
Thirty-one days from now, I’ll finally reach out to my first Chinese tutor. I’m
curious what it’ll be like learning from her. You never know. Maybe this is the
start of my own The Karate Kid story.
