𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕓𝕪 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘: She thinks too much for someone who likes hotdogs

Sep 11

I’ve been watching this Thai YouTuber ’cause I really like her style and wanted some inspo for dressing more girly but still kinda swaggy. But then I got way too invested and started picking up on how she does things, especially how she manages her money, work, time, and energy.

Like, she has these golden rules:

Don’t be too strict with yourself. It’s stressful.

Choose work that gives you the flexibility you value.

Don’t sacrifice sleep if it makes you think worse.

Organize your money into purpose-specific accounts.

This last part was what really won me over:

“I create a monthly income statement. Tracking all income and expenses. I can still go back and see exactly how much I earned that year… it helped me understand where my money is. How much I’ve saved, and how much I’ve grown this year. If I overspend on something, I’ll know to cut back next month. So now I have a good sense of what’s worth buying and what’s not.”

Sep 19
I. Reverse Card

I was actually supposed to be reading a book right now, but out of nowhere, I started wondering what kind of person I’d want to be with. Hmm. Now that I think about it, I don’t really expect anything specific. I guess I just care about whether I’m a good person to be with. Like, whether I can keep things funny and lighthearted while learning from my own mistakes and what I see around me.

II. Associative

Have you ever wondered why you even have a favorite color? My favorite color is white, and I also like soft colors. White just makes me feel super relaxed while soft colors are just like my little sister who’s always so happy unless someone manages to annoy her.

III. Pre-mortem thinker

I’m into systems thinking and behavioral psychology 'cause I get a kick out of breaking down where the hell other people and I screwed up. One principle I'm trying to apply now is Charlie Munger's idea that “all I want to know is where I'm going to die, so I'll never go there.”

IV. NPC

I like checking out food spots where everyone’s squeezed in together, like street food stalls or places inside a mall na halos kandungan na kayo ng katabi mo para lang makakain. And I also just like sitting back and looking at busy streets. Just watching strangers walk around while others sit at sidewalk cafés, laughing and chatting over a meal. Sometimes I even overhear what they're laughing about, and I get caught up laughing too.

I guess you could say I'm content with just ~~looking at people but I don't want to talk to them~~ watching what goes on around me. So if I’m opening up to you, just know I'm either gonna get straight to the point or it just means you’re someone I really, really care about.

Sep 21. Just a random thought I'm having

I had to squeeze through a crowd just to get some kwek-kwek from a food cart. I also got a matcha latte, but this is going to be my last one for a while before I completely cut out processed sugar. Let’s just say I want to see what happens to my face and body once I stop putting the usual not-so-healthy stuff into my system.

Which is kinda why I’m watching something about the psychology of beauty. Do good-looking people actually tend to be healthier, or do we just think they are? Hold on, am I just gaslighting myself into thinking they're healthy just because they look good?

Sep 22

I decided to take a break and try a few quizzes just to see what they might pick up about my thinking patterns.

One quiz said I’m wired to spot links between things and make sense of why I do what I do, but it still doesn’t know why all I can cook is boiled eggs. I laughed when it called me out for jumping from one interesting thing to another like I have no attention span, then just decided I’m an ambivert. Did this quiz just turn into a game of Two Truths and a Lie out of nowhere?

II
I got my lil sis a blueberry soda as a surprise. I realized I might’ve taken the teasing a little too far the other day and felt kinda awful afterward. When I get hyper, I’m like ten times more annoying than she is (oops).

III

You know how some people are like, super obsessed with Googling and researching stuff all day? Yes, I get locked in on that stuff too. Except my writing's way less about research and more about whatever I notice. Like, right now, I’m just looking at my homepage and this Vanessa Van Edwards name pops up, and come to find out she’s got this whole thing built around understanding human behavior. Okay, I’ve got like seven tabs open. Let’s see what I can learn from how she approaches this.

Sep 29

Yung pilit mong sinasabi sa sarili mo na part ng study aesthetic ang iced latte at sandwich para lang ‘di ka makonsensya sa diet mo (haha)

I’ve got 83 video lectures to work through, along with some pretty heavy reading. Before I get started, I want to establish why I’m going through all of this in the first place. And five days from now, what do I want to be able to explain or predict that I can’t yet? What problem will I be able to solve that I can’t solve now? And where am I actually going to use this?

I’m just getting ready for whatever gets thrown at me in sales. And there are two things I want to nail down.

One, I want to anticipate how I’m likely to respond when things go wrong. What if I work my arse off and still don’t close a single sale? How am I likely to behave when I’m actually out there prospecting, following up, and doing viewings, but they aren’t turning into sales? What happens to my thinking when I see other people succeeding and I’m not? Honestly, I don’t even wanna know. I'd rather just have a plan like I’m El Profesor’s protégé from La Casa de Papel.

Two, I want to be able to look at a situation and explain what made someone say yes after saying no.

Sep 30

I just had this really good iced Spanish latte, and now I'm watching a show about a billionaire hypnotist in Cape Town and thinking, I need to learn how to hypnotize myself into only wanting water. Anyways, I just wanna see if I can learn anything from him (or use it to troll my little sister) because I just can’t seem to watch anything normally.

Oct 2
I. Behavioral

Just got a caramel macchiato, and now I’m setting up for a 10-hour study block using 50/10 pomodoros. At least with the timer, I know when it’s time to get serious at kung kelan ako magsasayang ng buhay kado-doomscroll hehe. The Pomodoro’s just there to give my attention some structure 'cause I’m either hyper-focused or like completely brain-dead.

II. Psychological

If I ever got cheated on... how would I see it?

Like, would I just see it as a sign of someone who never actually respected themselves to begin with? Would I even want to look at a person who just throws away their dignity like it’s a used sanitary pad? Or would I just think, how can they even look at themselves after that and not feel cheap? So, why do I think this way?

I think some of this goes back to my dad.

When I was just a kid, my mom died of cancer. My dad used to tell me how she was constantly coughing up blood toward the end. Things got so bad that I had to go live with another family, and they raised me. And through all those years, my dad never had anyone else until he died in 2010.

Oct 3

I
It’s lunchtime. Am I even looking at my food right now? Nope. I don't even know why I'm sitting here drooling over supercars.

Oh, maybe because when I was a kid, my older sis had this whole collection of toy Ferraris, Lambos, and other exotic cars. God knows where she got them all. One thing I remember really well from when I was little is that I always had a thing for this little red Ferrari. I used to read the names on the boxes too, but I probably said them all wrong. Oh, and I used to smash the other cars into each other just for fun, then I'd wonder why the heck they were so tough to crack. And of course, I wish I'd known back then that I wasn't supposed to do that to supercars. Maybe that’s why I just moved on to playing Wolverine haha

Sobrang sarap ng matcha croissant, buti wala dito si Elyza. Pero okay lang, may pa-matcha strawberry naman ako sa kanyang pampalubag-loob. I also hid this little mystery box for her in my closet because ~~she always snoops around in there for snacks anyway~~ I noticed she looked pretty down when she got home from school the other day. So I decided to save it for her not-so-good days. Pwede siyang bumunot ng isa, o sige dalawa na para super happy siya tsaka para makapag-move on na ’tong batang ’to sa burger na kinain ko mag-isa.

Anyway, this was her back when she still had those chubby cheeks.

III

Alright, so I've been analyzing how the multi-millionaires and billionaires spend their days. Like, where does their time even go? How are these guys guarding their time? And then I got to thinking... what changes in the way they make decisions when money stops being a constraint? Like, when I’m broke, am I really gonna overthink buying a milk tea? Interesting yung difference between constraint-based purchasing and preference-based purchasing, noh?

Oct 6. How sitting by a window can be so expensive

I’m just sitting by the window and thought I’d write down whatever came to mind. Then one thought led to another and now I’m like, what if a blank check just landed in my lap right now? What the heck would I even buy first?! Maybe a racing simulator, a telescope, a microscope... what if I just buy out an entire manga collection instead?

Oct 7. There’s one kid who might absolutely destroy this narrative haha

A guy wrote this about me way back then:

“Makulit sya, pero hindi yung nakakainis, yung kulit na nakakatuwa, akala ko nga nung una seryoso syang tao pero hindi naman pala todo, may pagkamakalog din pala sya, sabe nga ”dont judge the book by its cover”, yan, isa din yan sa lagi nyang sinasabe.

,,at mahilig sya sa libro, aklat, novels, bible at mga research, in short mahilig sya magbasa. kapag may book masaya na sya, napakasimpleng ugali na magugustuhan ng kahit na sino (isa na ko don). kung isa syang book anu kaya sya? siguro mystery. bagay sa kanya ang ‘dont judge the book by its cover’, yung cover nya seryoso pero kalog pala page, yung cover nya malalim pero masasabayan mu palang basahin, yung cover nya hard (kase ayaw nya ng iyak) pero softhearted din naman pala ang nilalaman. makikilala mo sya kapag nakilala ka na nya, maybe ”its the book that didn’t judge who reads her”.

I wondered if he was just describing the little things he had picked up on, or if he was really trying to understand me. But if he was trying to understand me through what he observed, what was he telling me about himself without actually saying it?

Oct 9. The playful one

I'm easy to win over.

You know how some people spend hours learning things like it's gonna buy them a Ferrari, and others need a push? All you have to do is wave a hotdog sandwich in front of me and I'm sold.

I enjoy observing, too (I didn’t get eyes for nothing).

III

I can breeze through 160+ sales psychology Reels like it’s nothing. Maybe I have ADHD, but I'm no Dr. Sasha Hamdani so I don't even wanna know.

IV. This is so random