A learner origin story

 

June 8-24.
I realized I wasn’t just exploring new subjects. I was training myself to see connections, build structures, and think in systems. You know how most learners want speed first? I found myself wanting structure instead, because structure is what makes speed possible later.

June 25.
I.
How different is the learner sitting here today from the learner who started on June 8? Looking back, I think the biggest change is that I started out searching for a subject to study, but I ended up building a learner I can trust.

II.
Which version of me do I trust to stay consistent when nothing feels exciting anymore? The version with structure. The one that wakes up at 3:45 am. The one that studies even when nobody is watching.

June 28.
I ended up enjoying the mouth mechanics more than I expected because I became curious about how each sound was actually made. That curiosity led me to pay attention to what my tongue, lips, and airflow were doing to produce each sound. It got me asking questions like, “Is this syllable aspirated? Should my lips be rounded? Where should my tongue go? Am I getting the nasal sound right? Why doesn’t the native speaker match the tone chart?

June 30.
I think I’m getting better at making mind maps now. Once I see the system, I don’t have to brute-force memorize everything anymore. It’s like one keyword brings back the whole conversation because I understand the underlying connections, not just the words. Maybe my brain just works better with a system.

July 2.
Today, I actually think I’ve discovered my natural learning identity.

Come to think of it, I’ve been doing this all along without even realizing it. I never really tell myself, “I need to study.” I just keep finding things I can’t stop thinking about, to the point where I don’t even notice the time. It’s like stumbling across a song you just can’t stop listening to.

July 3.
Why do I study chinese for 12 hours every day, even when I’m not feeling well? As I reflected on this question, I realized something I hadn’t really put into words before. There’s someone in my life who believes in my ability to learn on my own.

Anyway, I noticed something about how I’ve been learning. Whenever I couldn’t get a sound right, I’d just keep repeating it until I got it right and get kinda annoyed at myself. From now on, I’m not getting emotionally attached to one sound haha

July 4.
Most people see Mandarin as this huge mountain they have to climb. But I never looked at it like that. In fact, I don’t even see Mandarin as a school subject. If anything, it’s more than just a language to me.

July 5.
I don’t tend to rely on memorization. Instead of memorizing 34 province-level divisions, 34 capitals, and 14 neighboring countries, I tied everything to one trigger. From there, I can name the neighboring countries, the province or autonomous region each borders, and instantly picture where each one sits on the map. I’ll show my chinese tutor how I do it so she can tell me if it actually makes sense haha

July 6.
Thirty-one days from now, I’ll finally reach out to my first Chinese tutor. I’m curious what it’ll be like learning from her. You never know. Maybe this is the start of my own The Karate Kid story.